Why I Do Not Like Carl, An Essay By Courage The Reading Dog

This is a Turkey Vulture, this is NOT Carl.

People often ask me, "Courage, what is it about Vultures that you don't like so much?  Why are you always barking at them?"

The answer is that I DO like most vultures!  I love most vultures!  As you probably know already, there are two different types of vultures that you commonly see in the United States, Turkey Vultures and Black Vultures.  Did you know that vultures are actually very cool birds who provide a valuable service to people and dogs?  Its true!   Both types of vultures belong to the scientific family of birds called, Cathartidea.  The name Cathartidea comes from the Greek word "cathartes" which means "purifier."     One of the things that vultures eat is dead animals.  Most vultures don't kill other animals, they just come in to do the clean up.  That's why you often see them by the side of the road, feeding on the bodies of animals that have been hit by cars.  The vulture has very strong stomach acid that allows it to feed on, and digest meat that might be too spoiled for other predators to eat.  If it weren't for vultures doing the clean up, there would be a great deal more rotting carcasses around, and that could spread disease.  Especially if your dog is the type that likes to eat or roll on dead things!  Of course I don't do that, but never mind, back to vultures...  Did you also know that vultures don't chirp or screech like other birds?  That is because vultures do not have a syrinx , which is the part of the bird that allows it to vocalize.  Vultures have to be content with grunts and hisses (Morgan says "Sort of like Zombies.").

Morgan has drawn this picture of the two types of vultures to help you spot Carl.

If you see a vulture with a read head, you know that that is a Turkey Vulture and that is NOT Carl. Carl IS a vulture, but not a Turkey Vulture.  Carl is a Black Vulture.   Black vultures have black heads.  Obviously, not all Black Vultures are Carl, but he's out there, and if you see a Black Vulture it might be him. If you are looking up into the sky and you see a vulture flying, but you can not see what color its head is, here is a trick to tell the two types apart.  Turkey Vultures hold their wings in a "V" shape (V for Vulture- get it? See what they did there? Those clever vultures!), Black Vultures just hold their wings straight across.

This hazy photo is the best shot we have of  Carl.  Here, Carl is looking down from a lamp post and  taunting me!

So why do I dislike Carl so much you ask?  Carl is a vulture who has been known to feed on baby animals like goats and cattle.  It has been the job of Great Pyrenees to protect flocks of farm animals for generations.  Being a Great Pyrenees myself, I take this job very seriously.  I know that Carl is just trying to get dinner, but its my job to tell him to move on, and look for his dinner somewhere else!  So I go crazy!   I bark, and I jump, and I lunge, and I bark some more.   Usually Carl flies off when I do this.  But if he's sitting somewhere pretty high, and he knows I can't get up to him, sometimes Carl just stays put, and taunts me.  He says, "Oh yeah Dog?!  Is that all you've got?!  Why don't you fly up here, and say it to my face?!  Oh I forgot!  You don't have wings!  Poor dumb dog!"  Ooooh! that makes me so MAD!

Eventually, of course, I calm down, and we all go on our way.  I don't actually have any sheep or goats or cows to guard right now (the chickens only sort of count since vultures don't seem to eat chickens).  If you want to know the truth, my barking is mostly just to show off.  Once I've put Carl in his place, Zoe, and Morgan, and I can continue on our walks.

The next time you come upon a vulture, try to see if you can tell if it is a Turkey Vulture or a Black Vulture.  If it is a Black Vulture, feel free to shake your fist at him and say,"Curse you Carl!  Go find your dinner somewhere else!"  If he flies off, that was probably Carl!  If he doesn't fly away he's either taunting you, or he's not Carl and he's saying to himself, "Who is this Carl person, and why does this human think I am him?!"